Stop Acting Like Children

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I feel this need to clarify my stance on the latest bathroom issue that has so many of us up in arms.

I feel that there is a need to make all human beings comfortable with this most common human experience. We all have to go potty when out in public now and again, right?  No one should have to feel shunned when using a public restroom.  I do not have an issue with the LGBT community.  I am saddened that so many Christians do and have been unloving to God’s children based on their sexual orientation.

My issue is NOT with homosexual humans.  I don’t feel that they are perverts who will harm my children, nor do I feel this way about transgender humans.  My issue is with sexually ill human beings that can simply say that they identify as the opposite sex in order to gain easy access to the restrooms that have multiple swinging doors with slots on every side that anyone can see through and easily get into.

I understand that this seems a bit of a stretch, but it may not feel like that if you consider your 16 year old daughter, who is out with friends while you are home, going into the restroom and a 260 lb. man who claims to identify as a female, following her into the restroom in order to do her harm.  Yes, this can happen now, but we more readily notice it in a public place because it hasn’t been the norm, but it is becoming the norm and this concerns me.  There is an issue of safety here.

If we are accepting everyone at his/her word, then we have to acknowledge that some “perverts” are going to take advantage of this situation to satisfy their depraved needs.

My issues are both safety and compassion.  Putting a 3rd bathroom (in establishments that have these multi-stall restrooms) that accommodates the transgender community or anyone who is uncomfortable with the traditional restroom situation, seems the best option for all.  It ensures the same level of safety we’ve always had, which isn’t perfect, but is MUCH better than what I believe we are opening our doors to now.  This is what the “family restroom” option is currently, so these restrooms could just expand their population.

And this is where I’m gonna get real.  So, if you’re a bit of a prude or squeamish, you probably want to stop reading this post right now…

These are my personal feelings about this issue:

I gotta tell ya.  I just can’t imagine poppin’ a squat in a multi-door public restroom and watching a human being with a penis enter the stall next to me.  It’s just too private.  It’s a sacred place where I can ask a perfect stranger if she has a tampon or pad when I’m bleeding like a sieve because the other girls understand.  I don’t want a man walking by the stall as I’m about to “affix” my tampon or pad unless he’s my husband.  It’s private and kinda yucky.  I don’t want the added pressure of being done “affixing” before a man walks in and past my stall with inch wide slits on every side.  When it’s vaginas only, I can fix my mascara or check my panty-lines in the mirror with little to no judgement – at least from most women over the age of 27…

I’m not grossed out by using the same commode as a lesbian, gay, transgender, or bisexual human being, anymore than I am grossed out by a heterosexual human being.  I just want the vaginas in the girls’ room and the penises in the boys’ room, if they want to be.  If they don’t, then I think a 3rd restroom is the choice.  If the establishment has single bathrooms, like several in Austin do, then I’m cool with them being genderless (is that the right word?).  I don’t care who I share individual public restrooms with, as long as we aren’t sharing simultaneously.

Okay.  I’ve said my peace.  Except this:  I want to love like Jesus and I don’t want to be hateful or judgemental in His name.  We are supposed to love one another.  We are supposed to listen to each other.  I’m open to questions and comments, and I’d love to discuss this further – in a loving and respectful manner.  Let’s all stop acting like bratty children and start acting like His children.  Because we ALL are.

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3 responses »

  1. I agree with so much of what you said. I would like to add that a lot of women have suffered sexual abuse and having a male in a restroom could be traumatizing. I am fine with making everyone as comfortable as possible but I don’t think one persons comfort is more important than someone else’s. I think if there are really so many issues we should have more individually locking single person restroooms.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am with you on this one, Tricia. The problem as I see it are the men who make the other men uncomfortable so now they want to make all the women uncomfortable too. I agree that the ladies room is sacred ground for many reasons – and the ones you listed are right on. I don’t see this as a ‘gender’ issue, but common sense issue of how men and women are different biologically (and mentally). I grew up with 3 brothers and a sister. I would never think of going to the bathroom at the same time the brothers were in there, but with my sister, yes, that would have been possible. What are people really thinking? Has everyone lost their common sense?
    I have actually been stopped and questioned about going to the ladies room. I am uncomfortable at times to go to the public restroom fearing that someone would stop me yet again and question my ‘gender’. I get called ‘sir’ a lot from waiters, cashiers, etc. I don’t wear make-up (can’t stand anything on my face), wear pants a lot, and wear comfortable men’s style shirts. The sleeves on ladies shirts are never long enough. I have many ‘friends’ of different persuasions and just find this whole issue out of hand. The argument should not be one of gender, but of common sense. I probably won’t go to a public restroom again unless it is a family or ‘gender neutral’ restroom that is private. So much for making folks more comfortable in public restrooms.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree 100%. I believe that the transgender community has been using our restrooms and, to my knowledge, there haven’t been any crimes reported. Why are we up on arms about this? Because some “People” think that they have to cause additional uproar because the LGBT community has gained some leeway in other areas. I believe we are called to LOVE and not always feel the need to understand, nor judge. If you feel the need to understand then put yourself in the shoes of an intersex person standing at the threshold between either restroom. I have personal knowledge of some of the struggles endured, including thoughts of suicide because of bullying and the like. I would not want the life of a beautiful soul to be lost because I wanted, or had too, “understand”. Why do we feel the need to know what, and how, someone identifies? Chances are you have been in their company and didn’t even know it.

    Liked by 1 person

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