Our proverbial empty nest has been so for a little over a month now. It has definitely been an adjustment.
There are some awful things about this chapter of our lives and some things that are not awful at all, some good and some great.
I love cleaning a room and knowing that it will stay that way for a pretty long while. I can’t even remember that last time any room in our home stayed picked up and clean for more than a day… y’all it’s been decades.
On that note, I only do 3 – 4 loads of laundry each week, and some of those are only because I’ve been going through and cleaning each room, so I may have rugs, etc. that are not typically weekly laundry. It wasn’t long ago I was doing 10 loads a week, so this is a major for this girl!
I spend SO much less on groceries for the two of us. Except I spend more because I know that Aaron will stop by daily to eat at least one meal, Caleb and Hannah a couple of times a week and then I have to pick up a few things for each of them to get through the week without starving or eating non-organic foods… or chemical laden cleaning supplies… or…
I have peace and quiet. I am able to read more, write more, spend more quiet time with Jesus. We can watch whatever we want to watch, play whatever music we choose, eat the dinner we pick… My Honey and I, not Jesus. Although, I like to think He influences our choices.
When they were younger, Bob would take the kids out for a day or evening so that I could just enjoy the quiet. It was rare for me to be without my babies, so I would just relish those hours and feel so rejuvenated by the time they all busted through the front door.
Last week my Honey worked 3 nights and this week 4 in a row, after working his full time day job. I’m not relishing my time alone so much anymore. I can only rejuvenate so much, and then you can call me lonely. It probably sounds silly to some, but learning to be alone, again, is a skill I’m struggling with a bit now that I have so much time with just me.
I have room in my refrigerator. Also, not an occurrence in our home for decades. I tend to find my security in food – “As long as my children have food to eat, everything is okay,” so it’s still pretty full, but it’s not the norm of shutting the door before anything squeezes out and breaks all over the floor! My pantry also has room – because I had time to reorganize it and I gave approximately 1/2 of it to my children a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes I just go into my kitchen so that I can look at my organized pantry and refrigerator. It makes me happy.
You should maybe be worried at this point.
I miss my kiddos something fierce. I probs call them too much… maybe not probs. I’m filling the void by making my Honey breakfast, lunch and dinner almost everyday. He’s LOVING it! This morning he told me that his love language is good food…
I’m rediscovering myself and it’s a little uncomfortable, but it’s good, too.
It’s such a weird concept to be independent as a young adult and then meet and fall madly in-love with a man and become one with him in marriage. Then came the babies and the decades of pouring yourself into them, losing yourself a little even though you said you wouldn’t…
and now you are finally able to date your incredible husband again (without paying a babysitter, or being too exhausted to enjoy yourself or feeling guilty for spending money or leaving your babies behind…), and you can spend actual big chunks of time doing the things you love again. It should be pure joy, and, yet, it feels so unfamiliar and even a little scary. But I’m finding moments of joy in all of it and I can see where this will become a truly lovely norm in time.
In the meantime, it’s a little uncomfortable and that’s okay.