Bearing

I am tired

In my flesh

Triggered

Abandoned

Broken-hearted

I am resentful

Unable to be perfect

Unable to arrive

Human

I am not willing to justify my actions to those who have yet to live anything near the last 35 years of my life

I am sad for the loss of what it “should” have been, but never will be

For the realization that this is forever and will never be “normal” or easy

Rejoicing in the tiny perfection, the heavenly smell, the precious sounds

The overwhelming, all-encompassing love

The witnessing of care-taking and manliness in the grown clone of this new blessing

The beauty of godly men stepping forward with grace and encouragement, bearing witness to Our Pappa’s power over shame.

Redemption

In His will

In His love

Thankful that He is in the waiting with me while my heart is breaking, reminding me to release the doing, the reaching, the striving

Reminding me to be who He made me to be, extending grace to others

Extending grace to me

But, first, I mourn, because I am weary and I am a woman

I am His

 

 

Published by

Tricia

I am a Michigan girl from birth, but I have fallen in-love with Austin. Our family (my hubby and our 3 youngest, and then our oldest 2 years later) relocated here 13 years ago and since then our lives have been traumatized and transformed in more ways than I can begin to share. I hope to help others feel less alone with my blog because I have known loneliness in recent years unlike anything I've have ever experienced. I also hope I can work through some of my junk, because, Lord knows, I have a truck load of it and then some... Writing is my passion. It always has been and I believe that He made it so. Hitting publish is a bit like walking out the front door with your pants down, but I'm over playing it safe. I'm 50 (something) years old and I want to live my life more fully by putting myself out there: the good, the bad and the truly ugly... I invite you to share your thoughts and opinions!!

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