For a little bit I was frustrated with people whining about being stuck inside with nothing to do. REALLY? If we are the ones fortunate enough to be healthy, then sheltering isn’t a terrible alternative, is it? There are plenty of things to do… Write a letter to someone who would love to hear from you. Call a friend or relative you should check up on or just haven’t had the time to really talk to in a while. Do yoga – youtube has some great free ones. Our favorite: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene . Read a book or write one. Cook really good food for yourself and/or your family. Draw, paint. If you can afford it, order books, food, paint, paper, whatever supplies you need, online or locally and have it delivered so that you can support someone trying to get through this. If you are cooped up with family, take advantage of this. We’ve been making yummy dinners and putting puzzles together and playing board games. We’ve also binged a couple of shows together, but I can only do so much of that. We’ve been purposely rotating our activities so that we don’t get bored. We’ve gone on lots of walks and spent time in our backyard. My favorite thing is to look online for ways to help others during this time. There are elderly people who can’t leave their homes and they need food, medicine, books, etc. You can pick it up and simply leave it at their door with a note of encouragement.
I spent the last several days enlarging my garden and planting all of the seeds I saved from last year. I’ve deep cleaned a room or two – and still have several to go. I’ve doubled my kombucha production to keep my family healthier and to share with friends and I’ve been cooking up a storm. Although, if I’m being completely honest, I’m tired of cooking and cleaning. It feels endless and futile, at times.
This. is. hard.
It’s important that we take the time we need to grieve. We can’t really move forward and do good things with a “pull ourselves up by the bootstraps” mentality. Our Pappa God wants to walk through our grief with us. When we are honest about our pain, and we sit with it, offering it to Him, only then can we move ahead and walk in the identity and plan He has for our lives.
So, let’s be honest. THIS. IS. HARD.
But, it’s been revealing to me. I’ve seen my privilege and it’s time to take a moment – or a couple of months – and really look at how I’ve been spending my time, how I react when things get “limited.”
I did not go crazy for tp, but if I’m straight with you, I already had 12 rolls in my linen closet because I’m blessed to have a Costco membership and I usually have an abundance of tp and papertowel. There are people who don’t have the money to stock up more than a 4-pack on payday. We used to be in that boat, I remember. Now, I did go a little crazy for organic food and food, in general. My fallback is to find my security in cash and food. When my kiddos were little, I always had much more peace when the cupboards were full and some cash was in the bank – which, as previously mentioned, happened because I was busy running up our credit cards. When those ran low, which was more the norm than the exception, you could find my babies parked in front of the television, with me behind a closed door desperately crying out to God to “bless” me with the stuff that made me feel secure. With that I would frantically spend the next hours trying to figure out how to get out of our financial crisis completely on my own, with no waiting on Jesus to be found.
So, I found out a couple of weeks ago that the tendency to rest a bit in my full cupboards isn’t completely gone, but more than anything I have rested in my Pappa God. It seems to me that He is telling me to get still with Him.
It feels a little like the church is very busy making sure that no one gets left feeling alone, meanwhile, maybe we could all use a little or a lot more quiet time with Our Pappa. Perhaps, we could all use this time to get to know Him and our earthly family members in a way that we just couldn’t when the world was spinning as fast as it always does. Don’t get me wrong, I’m using this time to reach out to my friends and extended family members. I’m praying for them and talking to them, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the Zoom meetings and the seeming panic about keeping everyone SO connected to other human beings.
I’m incredibly thankful that my church is streaming our services and I get to worship “with” my church family – MY WORD! I have missed this. I was in tears almost the entire service this past two Sundays because it filled me up so almost completely. There are so many blessings in the technology available to us during this time and I appreciate that. I appreciate all my church leadership is doing to keep us connected to each other. It just feels like everyone and their sister or brother is doing a Bible study, a daily devo or lesson, etc. during this time and we aren’t leaving any space for The Big Guy to be heard. I’m not so sure He wants us to keep things “as normal as possible” because I don’t think He was terribly thrilled with our old normal. I think this may be our chance to create a new normal based on His Word and His leading and we can only do that if we get still before Him and stop all of the busy-ness. We have to trust that He can care for His children better than any of us can. He is faithful. He knew this was coming and He will work through this to make things better, if we will only follow His directions.
Maybe it’s just me, but I am finding joy in this quiet. I am feeling a shaking out that will bring a new order, closer to what He calls me to.
My husband got his last paycheck (a few days late) – last week because his (very small local) company is struggling. I lost one of my jobs 2 weeks ago and didn’t get to work at all last week. We have enough money in the bank for next months rent and some money for food and our next car payment. Our son, who lives with us and is a dad, lost his job, as well.
I am not worried. When I look back over my life, He has ALWAYS been faithful.
A L W A Y S.
I’m thankful that He has patiently and generously walked this earthly journey with me, waiting for me to trust His faithfulness. The gratefulness for this peace I’m experiencing in areas I used to be overwhelmingly enslaved to, is a gift that I cannot fully express in mere words.
I am committed to getting quiet with my Pappa God so that I can hear His still, small voice speak truth over my life. I so do not want to waste this time He has blessed us with – forced upon us. I think we would be foolish to not see His hand in all of this and ask Him what He wants us to do when this season is over.
People will come from faraway places to pitch in and rebuild the Temple of God. This will confirm that God-of-the-Angel-Armies did, in fact, send me to you. All this follows as you put your minds to a life of responsive obedience to the voice of your God. – Zechariah 6:15