Category: Growing up

Violated

It was summer time.  We lived in a quaint little cul de sac with a beautifully landscaped circle that the other houses all faced.  Our house was on the corner lot, furthest away from the pristine circle.

Thanksgiving Day Parade

I was young enough to sit up on his shoulders in the frigid outdoor celebration.  The sea of enthusiastic people was overwhelming to me from this point of view.  My relatives kept shouting at me to notice each of the HUGE characters floating by,…

Process

A (n unkind) gesture A package The scab is peeled off   The heartbreak Attempted stuffing The dam is open wide   The listening The comfort My heart begins to fill   Some memories Rich laughter The wound begins to heal More laughter More…

almost

sometimes the people that were supposed to love you endlessly without condition,  love you as best they can and hurt you deeply because they are only able to operate out of their brokenness and pride.  eventually this feels like they don’t really love you…

It’s All Relative…

  I’ve struggled for years with feeling shame for feeling pain at the lack of everything I received when I needed everything the most.  Compared to so many others my neglect was minimal.  The emotional abuse was a blip compared to the sexual and…

Family Secrets

Every family has them, right?  It’s just how things happen in this American culture, especially in the generation before mine, which I often call the “sweep it all under the rug” generation.

32

There is something holy about bringing a new life into this world.  The first encounter I had with Him was the moment just before I first met you on the outside. You were all beautiful, pink, squishy and seemingly perfect.  He was all love,…

My “Me”

  My “Me” without Parental influence, is on her feet, poised in a defensive stance born of too many betrayals by those she has loved deepest and hardest, prepared to defend her “self,”  yet once more, against the ugly and hurtful accusations of addiction…

Oh, that I could (a mama’s lament)

If I could go back  and do it all again -or maybe just parts of it… I would honor who He made you to be more than forcibly attempting to mold you into who I thought you should become. I would listen more with…

The Evolution of My Sin

Growing up in my family of origin, it was normal to discuss how absurd other people’s choices were.  I heard (and eventually said) things such as, “Who does that?!” and “Iwould NEVER act like that!”  We pretty much had the corner on the market when…

Life in the Empty Nest (thus far)

Still wading around in the upside down world a bit, but simply being is getting less uncomfortable each day…

My Nest is Empty

I’ve been raising babies for 31-plus years.  Many of those years there were 4 or 5 of them under our roof.  They were my life’s work.  I poured myself into motherhood.  It was my calling, my ministry, my redemption.  It was also where I…

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