Category Archives: Racial Reconciliation

Monday Mullings

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I planned and executed (with the help of my precious and sneaky youngest 3) a marvelous surprise birthday party for my Honey this past Saturday.  He’s reasonably easy to be sneaky with because he’s very trusting.  I often tell him that if I were a woman of less integrity, I could get away with SO VERY MUCH…  He never even had a clue and seeing the look on his beautiful face when he walked through the door while 70+ of his favorite peeps screamed, “SURPRISE!!!!” was just about as perfect as it gets.

Yesterday I helped coordinate a women’s network luncheon at church and it went off without a hitch.  My friend, Tamera, spoke beautifully and the food was pure yumminess from La Madeline.  I watched several women reach out and connect in such lovely ways. It was beautiful.

The past couple of weeks have been FULL of extra work days, extended insomnia, and loads of fun meetings with friends.  I recall noticing that my throat was a little scratchy last Thursday and I was fighting off a 3 day migraine along with it, but I just kept moving through, because there just wasn’t time to do much about it.  I had things to do, places to go, a husband to surprise!  So, yesterday, as soon as the luncheon was over and I walked through my front door, I realized I felt beat up.  My tickle turned into a croupy cough in less than an hour.  I was suddenly exhausted even though I had gotten 9 hours of sleep the night before.  So, I’ve been in bed for nearly an entire day.  My throat and chest feel worse, but I feel more centered and less beat up.  Sometimes, He slows us down in such inconvenient ways…

because, in my case, it’s the only way I will listen.

Some of the best things have happened in my family in recent months.  We are in such a great season.  An old friend of mine, who turned out not to be much of a friend at all, once shared this sage advice, sprinkled with a bit of profanity:  Enjoy the good times that you go through, because the %$&* times are coming!

I had spent way too much of what should have been joyful seasons, fretting about what was coming next or even believing on some level that if I enjoyed myself too much, God would punish me because I didn’t deserve to have joy.

Who does?!

So, the lesson He has been renewing in my life is to BE in this season of joy with my family.  Celebrate.  Give exuberant thanks.  Praise Him for this blessed season.  I know the junk is coming, as well as more beauty, and worrying about what’s next will do nothing to prevent anything bad from happening.  It will, however, steal the joy of this season.  I’m also a firm believer in praising Him in the dark times and I believe the joyful times fill me up in a way that makes it easier to walk through trials with faith.

Our world is crazy right now.  Two Black men were waiting for a third man to join them at Starbucks.  The barista called the police because they hadn’t ordered anything…  yet.  Several White patrons stated that the men were never asked to order or leave or even spoken to.  They also stated that the men had done nothing wrong.  The police arrested both men, taking them out in handcuffs, as the friend they were waiting for showed up. WHAT IN THIS CRAZY WORLD?!?!?!?!

I’ve gone to many coffee joints and seen multiple peeps on their computers for HOURS, never ordering anything OR ordering only a $1.50 cup of coffee.  I meet with friends regularly and wait for them before I get my chai or whatever.  I have NEVER in several decades of being white, been asked to leave, to order, or had the police called on me.  Never.

The sadder thing is that Starbucks had a similar incident in Redondo Beach just this morning.  You can watch it here:  starbucks-accused-racism-yet-new-video-surfaces .  Now, if I’m honest with you, I probably go to Starbucks twice a year.  I’m very much a “support local” kinda girl, but now I can assure you I won’t be going there at all.  We have to support the disenfranchised with our dollars.  It’s the most effective way to make your voice heard.

Lastly, there’s this Cohen-Hannity debacle. What in the world?!  As I begin to process this news, I have a few random thoughts…

It makes so much more sense now that Hannity has been almost obsessive in his support of Trump and his constant criticism of the FBI’s raid of Cohen’s files.  Those two know Hannity’s dirt.

I’m not sure why Cohen is called “the fixer” when he clearly is not.

If Cohen was “fixing” the same stuff for Hannity as he has for his only two other clients (Trump and Broidy), then that gives “Fox & Friends” a whole new meaning.

Hannity is claiming that he only told Cohen things as a friend.  So, why did Cohen keep files on his friend?  If it was just friendly conversation, there is no attorney-client privilege, correct?  Yet, Hannity says that there is.  Pick a side, Sean.

What a day!  

REVOLT

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                                                                                                                               -Tacitus

We look to our earthly fathers to tell us the truth of who we are.  This is what God calls on fathers to do, and when they don’t, as is too often the case, we are left empty and open to every lie that we are told.  We live in a culture that satan has chosen to attack in such a way.  An entire culture can be broken generation by generation through weakening the fathers.  I’ve witnessed this in my own upbringing by a man who scorned Jesus and gave into his own weak pride on the regular, regardless of how it hurt him, his children or his grandchildren. I wasted years tying my Heavenly Father’s loving hands behind His back, projecting my earthly father’s angry, disappointed face onto His.

I know very few people who honestly revere their fathers for genuine leadership and/or godliness.  I know some will read this and think I am seeking perfection.  I am looking for men who pursue God and His will for their lives with all they have because they took the time to experience an intimate relationship with Him and have some understanding of how great His love is for them.  These men will LEAD in HIS LOVE and that will change our culture generation by generation. 

Men who live like this will understand that women have a place beside them and that through this partnership, God will move mountains, change lives and heal our land.  There will be no place for degrading women in pornography, disparaging pay, sexual assault, etc.  There will be no place for racism.  With men and women truly after God’s heart will come the truth that we are all gloriously different, but equal; we will finally celebrate our differences and reparations will occur with a new humility born of seeing one another through His eyes.

The demand for pornography and other sexual immorality comes largely from broken men, who were most likely broken as young boys.  We need men who will stand against this sin by coming alongside their brothers who are afflicted with this addiction, and help them bring it out into the light, so that they can be healed, and, in turn, come alongside those who remain in this sinful addiction.

We need to stand shoulder to shoulder with one another in love against those who oppress others, standing up for women, people of color and those who struggle with physical and emotional constraints.  This is how we win as a people.  We love like Jesus and we stand against sin as He does, without compromise or distraction.

Until there are more men who operate out of their love of and from God instead of their fear of losing money and power, hidden behind a shield of false godliness, we will continue to disintegrate, until we finally are morally bankrupt beyond repair.  We must raise sons and daughters who fall into His arms and turn to Him in every circumstance.  Knowing the Word is so important, but getting quiet with Him, professing our adoration of Him, and cultivating an intimate relationship with Him is where hearts are transformed and real world change burgeons.

Do you know how much He adores you?  He waits for you and me, not just for an hour, or a day, or even just once.  He waits for us over and again, with outstretched arms and unending love.  He doesn’t turn away as we walk toward our sin.  He is in the room with us, heartbroken that we are not choosing life abundant, ready to fight for us, if only we would turn from the sin we are pursuing, once again.

Make a plan to invest in your relationship with Him daily.  Spend time pouring over His Word, full of rich wisdom, truth and love.  Get quiet before Him.  Cry out to Him.  Invest in getting to know Our Father intimately.  It’s the only way to start and win the Revolution.  The alternative is much too grim and coming too quickly.  It’s time for action.

Perspective

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If I protest the destruction of the rainforests, does that mean I want all of the other kinds of forests to be destroyed?

If I walk in the Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure, am I opposed to other forms of cancer being cured?  – Or am I just opposed to Democrats…

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Do all lives matter to the police equally?  Do the indictment records reflect this?

Where are all of these blue people?  Are they blue all of the time?  Do they choose to be blue or are they born that color?  Can they take their blue off – for a little while, at least? Or forever, if they choose?  What about the black people?  Are they born black or did they choose to be black?  Can they take their black off, for a little while, at least?

 

If my pastor is a known philanderer, brags about forcing himself on multiple women in a violent manner on the regular and has children from three different women, but tells his congregation that the offering is more than ever before and he is against abortion, should I continue to follow his leadership and defend him to anyone that speaks against him based on real biblical principles?  What if he wants to marry my daughter?  Should I give him my blessing?  What about if he mocks people who are physically or mentally challenged or people of color?  That’s not a big deal, right?  He’s not a bully or racist if he says he’s not, right?

Is the best way to defend him to bring up things our pastor from nearly 20 years ago did wrong?  Because I remember when I was a child, deflecting to something one of my siblings did wrong often distracted my parents from what I had done wrong, at least for a minute or two, until they realized how childish my behavior was and returned to the real issue at hand…

If a White Evangelical man and woman bring their sick child into the ER, does the lesbian or transgender nurse have the right to refuse care based on a difference of religious beliefs?  Say, the nurse believes that White Evangelical Christianity is a hate group based on recent behavior she’s experienced personally…  Should we force her to care for these people just because they’re human beings?!

Since I am a woman, is it okay for me to lie about the atrocious behavior of a white man and when a person of color questions me, can I just claim that he’s a bully because I have a v-jay-jay?  Can someone help me publicize an aggressive looking picture of the POC so that I can perpetuate the victim role of a white woman instead of owning the lies I’ve participated in and continue covering up the racist remarks of the real bully?  I mean, just because I’ve been placed in a leadership role over the entire country does NOT mean that a black person can question me about lying to the people of the country I represent.  I am a fragile white woman and shouldn’t be treated like other leaders who behave with complicity.

Right?

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During the past year (or so), I’ve experienced a regular feeling of living in the “upside down world.”  Things that I thought of as ludicrous and only existing in the past have reared their ugly heads in a very public and “normalized” fashion.  I’m beyond thankful for people such as Joy Reid, Kathy Khang, and Cory Booker for courageously calling out the folks who continuously try to take us down bunny trails.   I’m thankful that they unapologetically demand justice, equality and sanity reign.  Listening to them, and others like them, I find myself, saying, “THANK YOU!  Finally, someone is standing up to this lunacy.”

May we all have the courage to stand and speak before the damage is beyond repair.

Hyvää uutta vuotta!

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New-Year-Pictures

I suppose that since it’s a brand new year, I should write the proverbial New Year’s Resolution blog post.  I’m one of those middle of the road peeps.  I see some value in setting a public goal because then we’re accountable to ourselves and others.  I also understand thinking that NY resolutions are silly because almost NO ONE follows through, despite wonderful and sincere intentions.  I’m kind of a “make the vow to myself quietly’ kind of girl, not saying it out loud until I’ve research this life-changing goal and worked it consistently for a short time, mostly.  If I’m afraid I won’t follow through because my flesh can be SO weak, and I really want to in my spirit, then I’ll share one-on-one with someone in my inner circle, being sure to mention how unlikely it is that I will accomplish my task.

I have all of these ideas of ways I want my life to change for the better, like most people do.  As I was pondering this recently and throughout the past year, I’ve noticed I feel scattered and a bit overwhelmed, so I’ve broken it down into categories in order to see my goals more clearly and in a less complicated fashion.

Emotionally:

I want to have healthy boundaries with some people who have hurt me on the regular over the years.  This is tough because I am a 2 (enneagram), a hard 2, and I just want to meet everyone right where they are and love them with all that I am.  When I don’t do this I feel like I’m letting God down, even though I know in my head that boundaries are healthy and I’ve spent WAY too much time standing in His way in the name of love.  In addition to this, I would love to stop caring about the opinions of people who have misrepresented or misjudged my character.  While entering my 50’s has helped dissipate much of this, occasionally, it still gets the best of me and I fantasize about the truth coming to light and having peace with those people.  I’m SO ready to be an Elsa and completely “let it go!”

Relationally:

THIS is the tough one for me right now.  My husband is such a lovely man.  Of course, he has stuff like every human being, but because of our very opposite dispositions, my pessimistic McDowell part has bit-by-bit squelched the optimistic and joyful Honey I fell in love with.  I find myself often overcompensating for my trespasses when I should simply ask for forgiveness, owning my junk and doing better because of it.  It’s awful how something can be ingrained in you from birth and decades later still wreak havoc in adult relationships.  It’s time to do better because I am capable of better, my husband deserves SO much better and my children deserve a better example.

Physically:

This is the embarrassing one.  I want to figure out why I continue to gain weight even though I am eating less food and more healthily than I ever have.  I’m exercising regularly and getting enough rest (usually), so it’s discouraging that I’m seemingly getting less healthy day-by-day.  I’ve spent an abundance of time and money on the pursuit of physical health, and while I am almost never sick and I am quite healthy, this weight gain, sudden onset of hot flashes, and lack of energy are disheartening.  My hope is that I’ll figure out what is wrong with my adrenals and/or my thyroid and I can begin a plan that will bring them back to health – and that I can do this without breaking the bank…

Social Justice:

This is a subject that is very near and dear to my Jesus-loving heart.  There is little else that brings out my passionate side like racial injustice.  However, I’ve got to confess that I am intimidated to step into this full throttle for a number of reasons.  I feel like I have little to offer as a privileged white woman.  This causes me to be terrified to say or do the wrong thing because of my ignorance or any scrap of prejudice that remains.  I don’t want to appear to think I am some kind of savior or anything obnoxious.  I want to stand by my brothers and sisters and use my voice so that we can start moving through repentance, then restitution and finally reconciliation.  I’m not sure what that looks like, yet.  I have an entire bookshelf of every suggestion my BtB group has ever mentioned and then some.  I’ve read several of them, but I need to be more intentional.  I need to stop taking advantage of my white privilege by doing the inconvenient and hard stuff even though it may seem I don’t have to.  I am His daughter, which means I do, so I will.

Financially:

My Honey and I would love to go away for a real vacation.  It has been 16 years since we’ve gone away alone together for more than a night or two – and that was in September of 2001 during the week of 9/11, as well as experiencing a hurricane on Sanibel where we were vacationing, and returning to find out one of our children had gotten into some pretty serious trouble while we were away.  We’re dreaming of a full week, all alone, somewhere we have to fly to.  If we can’t do it this year, then next year is the goal.  There are actually several other financial goals we have, but this is not our strong suit, so we’ll just leave it like this for now.

Spiritually:

I’ve been praying about my word for this year.  I’ve intentionally avoided words like “love,” “help,” “inspire,” because that’s what I’m naturally drawn to and one or two of those have been my word in past years.  Yesterday, the word “Simplify” came to me.  This is a good goal for me.  It’s one I feel I’ve been working on for many years.  It’s one of the things I tried to instill into my own children.  I have successfully simplified many areas of my life, but I can see that in my desire to accomplish some of the above goals, I have complicated my life unnecessarily.  While I believe it’s wise to read and educate oneself about God, health, finances, relationships, ultimately, I know the first place I need to turn is to Him.

I think this looks like taking each of my areas of growth and choosing ONE simple goal, just one baby step and following through.  Breaking it down based on His leading and my strengths will produce a simplicity that will bring blessings into my life and those I serve and love.

In my marriage this looks like confessing to my husband first.  The next step is unclear for me.  I think we’ll need some kind of accountability, so asking him to join me in that is a definite possibility.

Emotionally, in my relationships I will continue to pray before I put myself out there.  I will do my best to check my motives and remember that He is so much better at loving people than I could ever be.  When He sends me, I will go, but I am finally ready to stop sending myself out of guilt or my icky savior complex, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at times.  

My Honey and I have been researching the KETO diet and we are going to give it a whirl.  A couple of months ago I bought a planner that keeps me on schedule with my magnesium protocol and that has been helping me stay on track and get back on track when I fall off now and then.  My hope is that following these plans will jumpstart my adrenals and thyroid so that my body can start taking better care of itself naturally.

My goal is to read 2 books each month about racial reconciliation.  I have started to collect children’s book by authors of color about people of color for the grandchildren I hope to have someday.  I am going to purchase 1 book every 2 months and my hope is that I will have a library that will help another generation of my family to love and appreciate all of God’s people.  I have other goals, but in the name of simplifying and succeeding, I am going to make this the first step.  I am going to bathe each book in prayer and ask Him to show me what steps I take next.

Financially…  Yep, not my strong suit.  I’ll have to get back with you about this one.

Spiritually, I am going to keep spending time with Jesus.  His Word speaks to me in life-changing ways and quiet time with Him is the best way for me to stay centered.  I made a commitment to read my Bible daily a few months ago (again) and it’s going well.  Sometimes I find myself checking the box, but more often I am slowing down and taking His Word in. I have decided to work through the 12 steps again, joining a group at my church that will keep me accountable and help me grow where He shows me I need to this time around.  I bought myself a Christmas present from Cageless Birds that was a stretch for me.  Cultivate is a series of 4 volumes that are full of writing prompts, contemplative thoughts, and encouragement for artists of all kinds – because we are ALL artists in one way or another.  I bought all 4 of them and gave one to each our 3 youngest and gave myself volume 4, “Creativity Unlocked.”  I’m intimidated and excited to see how God works through the pages to help me walk more fully in the identity He has for me.

So, I started this post a few days ago and then as I prayed and journaled I was able to simplify my proposed journey for this next year.  I feel centered and hopeful.  I’m also seasoned enough to be okay if the end doesn’t look exactly like I’m imagining at the beginning.  New Year’s Resolutions are meant to help us move forward in hope, not to discourage us because we aren’t perfect.  I pray you find your rhythm in this new year.  I pray you find grace for yourself and others.  I pray you find yourself walking in your full identity more and more as the days unfold.  It’s okay to straight up fail or stumble to any degree, and it’s okay to get up and start again in February or July or December.  It’s not okay to let perceived failure defeat you for too long.  You’re worth a lot of effort and persistence is noble.  Quitting, not so much.

Happy New Year!

 

Jesus Loves Us…

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None of my friends of color are surprised by what’s happening in Charlottesville.  By contrast, almost all of my white friends are shocked that it’s 2017 and this is happening in our country.  The land of the free, the home of the brave…

I don’t believe that most of White America agrees with the alt-white, or the Nazi demonstrators carrying weapons and/or attacking the counter-protesters.  I do, however, believe that most of White America would prefer to not be involved.  They don’t hesitate to accuse their white brothers and sisters of being divisive or stirring the pot when we write about racism or talk about it.  The problem is that there’s no sitting this one out.  There is no “not getting involved” because it’s happening all over and the hatred is growing.  It’s palpable.  We all must take a stand for what we believe to be right and true in our heart of hearts.  Silence doesn’t only imply consent…  It is consent.  The irony is, that if more silent people would’ve spoken up long ago, we may not be all wondering what happened and where all of these haters came from.  Because, the truth is, they’ve always been here, they are simply feeling more comfortable to be openly hateful racists because the donald normalized it during his campaign and we, snowflakes, are still in shock that there are so many truly hateful people sitting next to us in our church pews, working beside us and living in the house down the street from us.

Polo shirts, baseball caps, khakis, screaming, “Blood and soil.  You’re not going to take this away from us!” while carrying tiki torches into the night.

For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome.  Psalm 5:4

Recently, I had an old school friend share a rather offensive post on facebook attempting to shame anyone who says or does anything negative about the donald or his family:

GONNA VENT HERE. I have lived through Presidents Carter, Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Obama. In my lifetime have I never seen or heard of a President being scrutinized over every word he speaks, humiliated by the public to the point of wanting to hurt someone, slander, ridicule, insulted, lied to, threatened to murder him, threatened to rape our Beautiful First Lady, and have his children also insulted and humiliated.
I am truly ashamed of the people of this country. I am ashamed of the ruthless, hating, cruel, Trump haters who have no morals, and news reporters who feel they have the right to purposely lie and do the things they are doing. Every other President after they were elected and took the oath of office were left alone, they weren’t on the news 24/7 being dissected by every word out of their mouth, ALWAYS BEING PRESSURED to do this or that and never being given the support to do the important work that needs to be done. ENOUGH is ENOUGH is ENOUGH, LEAVE THE MAN ALONE AND LET HIM DO HIS JOB FOR GOD’S SAKE!
If you agree, copy and paste this to your timeline and put your name under the last name:

My response was: “For real?”  because I honestly was surprised that this person would post this.  I’m shocked ANYONE would post this that has been living in this country or any country with newspapers or television, to be perfectly honest.  I mean, this is America, Land of the Free, Home of the Brave?  We aren’t living in a dictatorship, correct?  Mostly people agreed or “liked” my comment.  A few, however, tried to throw the sorry white evangelical guilt trip on me by commenting things such as:

“Let’s concentrate on being Christian, not the need to argue over things we cannot control. Passion is better spent in our children, families and community….”

and

“so sad you cannot express your opinion without being taken to task – but I guess that is what the world has come to”

SOOOOOO, I’m going to address these two comments, first.

Since when does being a Christian mean not being involved in social injustice?  When in the world did Americans begin thinking that speaking out and being involved in governmental decisions was ineffective and not Christian?… – These same people were defs not silent when Obama was in office!  Where were they spending their passion then?  I’m trying to spend my passion where God tells me to, so there’s that…    Also, I call white privilege, because it must be nice to be able to focus our passion on simpler things when we don’t have to deal with racism on a daily basis.

“Rescue the poor and the needy, delivering them from the power of the wicked.”  Psalm 82:4

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”  Proverbs 31:8-9

IMHO, if you post something to your facebook page that is political, you should probs expect that there will be others just as vocal responding, especially if it’s a shame post defending the least popular POTUS in the history of ever.  Probs…

Okay, now I feel a need to go through that obnoxious post (in red) that is apparently circulating through facebook.

Paragraph 1:          GONNA VENT HERE. I have lived through Presidents Carter, Reagan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Obama. In my lifetime have I never seen or heard of a President being scrutinized over every word he speaks, humiliated by the public to the point of wanting to hurt someone, slander, ridicule, insulted, lied to, threatened to murder him, threatened to rape our Beautiful First Lady, and have his children also insulted and humiliated.

I, too, have lived through the terms of these Presidents.  I’ve seen every single one of them bashed, scrutinized, ridiculed, teased, etc. over every aspect of their lives.  Carter was not tough enough, Reagan’s wife ran the show, George H. W.’s wife was a heartless witch,  Clinton was a skirt chaser, George W.’s daughters were party animals with no respect,  Obama was just pure evil (THIS was the POTUS MOST scrutinized and lied about, imho, and the man leading much of this was the donald, btw), mostly because he is black and not a white evangelical.  And when it comes to threats, in October of 2014, the Washington Post reported that “Since Obama took office, at least 65 people have been indicted on charges of threatening to harm him,”  as well as in “2011 a White House shooting occurred on November 11, 2011, when Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, an unemployed 21-year-old man, fired a semi-automatic rifle at the White House.”  Reagan was shot in 1981. George H.W. Bush was not long in office when 16 men plotted to kill him with a car bomb.  Osama bin Laden attempted to kill Clinton with a bomb in 1996. Robert Pickett, an accountant from Evanston, Ind., shot at the White House when President George W. Bush was inside.  I have numerous memories of various past Presidents’ children and wives being ridiculed for being unattractive, bossy, manly, disrespectful, etc.

Here is a link that shows all of our former POTUSes who have been shot at during their terms:  http://timelines.latimes.com/us-presidential-assassinations-and-attempts/   I think it will shock you how common this is.

Paragraph 2:  I am truly ashamed of the people of this country. I am ashamed of the ruthless, hating, cruel, Trump haters who have no morals, and news reporters who feel they have the right to purposely lie and do the things they are doing. Every other President after they were elected and took the oath of office were left alone, they weren’t on the news 24/7 being dissected by every word out of their mouth, ALWAYS BEING PRESSURED to do this or that and never being given the support to do the important work that needs to be done. ENOUGH is ENOUGH is ENOUGH, LEAVE THE MAN ALONE AND LET HIM DO HIS JOB FOR GOD’S SAKE!

I am ashamed of the people who support this narcissistic man who has been married 3 times, speaks of his daughter incestuously, whose wife is of questionable character, imho, who we all saw on tape talking about “grabbing pu****” and has made his racism abundantly clear as of late, in case anyone was wondering.  There’s also Russia, the KKK, & White Alt affiliation, the outrageous number of firings and terrible hirings, as well as his numerous vacations on our dollar, and the list goes on, but there isn’t enough time for all of that now.  I’m pretty sure the guy with no morals is the guy in our White House.

New reporters purposely lying?!  Seriously, the donald is world famous for lying.  Our country is fast becoming a joke to the rest of the world because of his administrations regular lies, embarrassing tweets, and chaotic behavior coming from the White House since he took office.

Again, NO POTUS has ever been left in peace to do their job.  This is America.  We are allowed to speak our minds.  Our high governing officials are mostly elected, so we do have a say and we usually step up to that opportunity because we tend to remember and appreciate that some other places in this world are not allowed such privilege.  IMHO, the donald would love for us to be gagged while he and his alt-right cronies greedily take control of this country under the guise of making it great, again.  His great again was when the rich, white folks had all of the power.  Back then it was only great for rich, white men.  He plays off the fear and ignorant of many, playing the bully on the playground and too many fearful, and ignorant people think they’re on the right team, instead of seeing that they are just being used by the bully and all of his rich, white friends to make America great for themselves, again.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  It’s time for him to finally do some work for our entire country without a personal agenda that hurts the disenfranchised and moves our nation to a place of normalized fascism, where he justifies controlling the press because he’s convinced uninformed and paranoid people that the media is dishonest, where women are second class citizens, where there are no checks and balances.

If the events in Charlottesville don’t finally open your eyes, then I guess they probably won’t be opened.  I’m fearful for what this country will endure as long as he is the President.  Now, this is where some will tell me that if I am a good Christian, I won’t be afraid.  I wonder if people said this during the Holocaust.  I’m appalled that so many have supported this man because he claimed to be a Christ-follower and be against abortion because he will do nothing about the abortion laws and he obviously doesn’t believe all lives matter from womb to tomb, based on his violence-inciting language during his campaign and his term thus far.  Where is the fruit of his walk with Our Father?  Where is the love we should all know him by?

It isn’t un-Christlike to call out hatred or lack of fruit.  It’s wise.  It isn’t okay to not pray for the President and his administration.  It’s expected.  I pray for him.  I pray for his administration.  I do not hate any of them.  I stand against the evil that has been revealed.  I am called to stand for the disenfranchised.  I am called to love, but I am not called to be silent.  He calls us to speak for people with no voice and this doesn’t mean only unborn babies.

I would challenge you to visit a BLM meeting.  You will find, as I have, a group of human beings who are tired of being oppressed and simply want to be treated as if their lives matter AS MUCH AS everyone else’s lives.  They have all different personalities, just like any group of people.

I would challenge you to get to know SEVERAL people of color, and to NOT tell anyone you aren’t prejudiced because you have a couple of friends of color.  It’s hard.  I was terrified to say the wrong thing and be found out as the privileged white girl I have always been.  I’ve been married to a Hispanic man for nearly 30 years and I have bi-racial children with him.  My daughter-in-love is black.  I still struggle with my deeply ingrained prejudices at times.  This is a journey, a long journey.  I haven’t arrived, nor can I see the station, and that’s okay.  I am always working toward more understanding.  I am learning to listen more to my brothers and sisters of color and speak more to my white siblings.  He calls on us to speak for those who are oppressed and so I must.  We all must.  We mustn’t sit in our homes and close our eyes and hearts to what is happening in America to fellow Americans.  We must stand beside them and use our voices to speak for justice.  We must face our prejudices, go to Our Father in repentance, and begin the journey toward reconciliation.

Things are not like they’ve ever been in this country during my lifetime.  No matter what happens, I am a child of God.  One day I want to stand before Him knowing that when He called me to stand with His other children, regardless of the consequences, I stood with His love in my heart and spoke the words He led me to speak.  It would be easier to sit in my lovely little house and enjoy my lovely little life, but He calls me into discomfort in this passion He has placed in my heart.

We are all His passion and He gave Himself over to indescribable discomfort for all of us.  Jesus loves us this I know and there are NO exceptions…

 

 

 

 

 

Good Girls Don’t

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marginalized-jesus

I

have

spent…

 

the past several days in deep mourning.  I have gotten a migraine every night since Tuesday.  This morning I woke up and felt wave upon wave of such sadness and then this afternoon I realized I was losing hope.

There isn’t really any worse feeling than losing all hope when you’ve hoped so very hard and believed change was around the corner… or a few corners.

Since I was a little girl I’ve always longed for people to feel included.   It’s a burden I carry with me and I’ve passed on to my children.  As I grew up in a culture rich in white privilege and racism, I began to internalize much of what I heard.  I still worked very hard to be sure my children were not prejudiced and I believed I was only a little prejudice.  I became pretty good at justifying why I held my “few” general, and negative opinions about certain people groups.  Afterall, my husband is Hispanic and my daughter-in-law is black, so I must be pretty much NOT a racist, right?!

In the past year, God has made it very clear to me that He is calling me to speak out for His children of color and the injustice they face on the regular.  It’s been absolutely EXHAUSTING.  The pain of what POC deal with daily and the hatefulness and disregard for the disenfranchised I’ve encountered in mostly my white Evangelical friends has broken my heart a time or two.

I wrote the above 2 months ago, in September.  I still am certain my God has called me to stand with the disenfranchised.  I’ve found myself since the (still unbelievable) election this past Tuesday dealing with loads of input from loads of friends and acquaintances.  Everything from rejoicing that America will become great again to assuming that because the next POTUS is a republican, that makes it all as good as it could be (nope, not imo) to comparing the Donald to Hitler and wishing ill upon him, and everything in between.

From Christian leaders whom I have great respect for, I have heard repeated calls to be a peacemaker, and that’s where I feel conflicted.  It reminds me of my mama whispering in my ear as a young girl, “Nice girls don’t speak out like that.”  It triggers every memory of this culture trying to shame me into being quiet or I wouldn’t be thought of with respect or favor.  What’s a Christian woman to do?!

I mean, am I not a peacemaker if I stand with and speak up for my marginalized sisters and brothers in love?

This is where I pause and admit that I haven’t always been very loving when I speak out on social media against those whom I believe have acted in hate or privileged insensitivity toward factionless.  I’m working on that…

I’ve come to realize some things about myself and the way God made me.  I am a 2 on the Enneagram.  I am a mama bear and fiercely protective of the people I most love and anyone I feel is being persecuted unjustly.  It’s almost physically painful for me when I witness others being left out or treated as outsiders.

I am also an empath.  I sense and feel deeply the pain of people around me.  I always have.  It’s been a true blessing and often a curse.

I believe I’m in His will.  I love a good respectful discussion, but when someone is flippant, insensitive or hateful about the fear or trauma others are experiencing, I feel such righteous anger that unfortunately, can sometimes turn into self-righteous anger, and then nobody is hearing anything on either side of anywhere.

I think being a peacemaker is about working toward unity.  I believe unity cannot truly occur without confession and atonement.  When this happens and there is sincere forgiveness, only then can reconciliation and unity bloom.

So, in realtime for white folks this looks something like:

really getting to know SEVERAL people of color, people from the LGBTQ community, and women in leadership

  • ask questions about how they’ve experienced prejudice and/or racism personally and LISTEN without making it about yourself – This was and remains a hard one for me.  I just want to defend myself because I’ve spent so much time living with white privilege and it gets my back up.  Humility is a hard-won goal for me here.
  • fight the urge to tell others about your one friend of color or that time you did something nice for POC. (insert LGBTQ or woman in power for POC, as needed)
  • stop saying you don’t see color.  This is absolutely ridiculous, because we all see color.  It’s also insulting.  No one wants to wash away their heritage, their culture.  We should celebrate and learn about each other and where we come from.
  • own your junk.  Don’t just puke apology all over your disenfranchised friend, but learn as much as you can and be the change.  Apologize with all of your heart and then, when you truly see your brother and/or sister and what they’ve experienced, let them know you stand with them, and ask God how you can carry their burden and be Jesus to these children of His.

Relationship is everything, friends.  We want to be comfortable, but being His hands is never very comfortable if we’re doing it right.  When you open your hearts to other human beings and remember that He loves them just as much as He loves you and you are siblings, amazing blessings fall down on everyone involved.  We are called to love one another without judgement.  We are called to repent and turn from our sins.  We are told that ALL life is sacred.  Unborn babies are not more or less precious than homosexuals, black men (who may not live exactly as you do for too many reasons to list and based on recent events are not heard), or any other child of God.  We may feel because they’re voiceless, cute, and innocent that we are more called to defend here, but there is NO scripture to back that up.  ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS, inside and outside of the womb.

Which brings me to BLM…

But that is for another day.

A Call to Love

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people bridge

I find that it’s hard to be sympathetic to things and people that I know nothing about.  It’s much easier to appear sympathetic when we don’t really have to deal with that kind of pain personally.  We feel really great about ourselves when we are accepting, tolerant of others.  We tell ourselves and others that we are not really prejudiced and that makes us feel pretty darned good about ourselves …

Things have gotten uncomfortable around these parts, even scary for some of us.  It’s feeling like the sweeping under the rug that some of us have been trying to do – and by “us,” I mean those of us who don’t usually have prejudice aimed at us on the daily or weekly so we don’t choose to deal with it – has now become a futile attempt.  Our throw rug has become wall to wall carpeting and it is bulging on all sides and it looks like it just may vomit ALL OVER everyone at any moment.  Some of us are still furiously sweeping while we close our eyes, some of us are turning our heads, because that has worked for years, some of us are thrilled that we can finally express how superior we feel compared to those other people, some of us are terrified of all of the trouble these other loud mouth liberals are causing for no reason because things have come so far, and still others are thrilled beyond measure that something is finally going to change, because it can’t get any worse, can it?

These are some of the arguments that I’ve held near and dear or, at the very least, agreed a little bit with when others have expressed them to me:

1.  My children don’t have the same chances at a college education that people of color do.  It’s not fair that my child has a better GPA and can’t get into the same college as a person of color simply because they are a person of color.  (My hispanic hubby and I have had MANY discussions about this one.)

2.  My grandfather came into this country with less than two nickels to rub together and he worked his a*% off and made something of himself without a freeride from the government.

3.  Have you visited your local prison?  The majority of inmates are black for a reason.

4.  They all just seem so angry.  I mean I didn’t do anything.  My parents were the first generation here.  My descendants didn’t enslave theirs.

5.  Hasn’t slavery been abolished for a long time?!  How is giving them all of this preferential treatment going to make things more even?  – and when is this all going to stop so that everyone is finally on even ground?

6.  They don’t want equality when it comes to playing sports like basketball, do they?

By now, I’ve ruffled some feathers. I’m a white girl.  I understand.  I was raised by parents who claimed to not be prejudiced and then proceeded to justify why they felt the way they did, on the regular.  I was also raised in a small town that rarely saw the light of anything but white while I lived there.  Although in 5th grade twins who were black, a boy and a girl named Michael and Michelle, if memory serves me,  moved into my little village for a couple of weeks while their parents worked at the apple orchard outside of town.  I was beside myself.   I wanted them to feel welcome and I instinctively knew that they wouldn’t.  I went home and excitedly told my family.  I remember being teased about my love of black people.   My friendship at the age of 3 or 4 with a little black girl named Boo when we lived in Detroit has been the topic of ribbing since forever.  I was heartbroken that they didn’t see how cool this was and that I was going to make everyone love and accept each other.

I’m prejudiced.

I wish I could tell everyone that I’m not.  I’m working on being more who He wants me to be and a HUGE part of that is truly understanding that we are all God’s children and NO ONE is superior, but shedding the shell of my culture, my majority, my “security”, my power is no easy task.  It is necessary and freeing.  It is humbling in painful, embarrassing and joyful ways.  It’s a shame that it even has to be “fixed”… What is wrong with this world – with me?!

I’m a little afraid that “my” people won’t be in power in the near future.  I’m not even sure what that means or what that looks like, but in my gut I want to be part of the people who run things or at least blend in and be protected by them.  Because for some reason I believe I should be afraid of people of color, especially black people.  If I’m alone in my parked car at night and I see a black man, I instinctively want to be sure my car door is locked – in all fairness, I feel this way about almost anyone if I’m alone in a parked car, but especially if the person I see is black.  I was taught this from a very young age.  It is standard equipment for white girl upbringing.  This entire paragraph is a confession, not a justification.  God help me.

A friend recently reminded me of things I was told as a child and as an adult, such as, if a black man is walking toward you on the sidewalk, you should cross to the other side.  Asian people aren’t smarter than us, they just respect education more and try harder.  Muslims all want to kill us.  When people speak in a language other than English, they are being disrespectful to Americans. ( If you can’t speak the language, get out of our country!)  Black men always want big white girls.  The Mexicans coming here are mostly murderers, rapists and other kinds of criminals.  If the women who wear those veils across their faces can’t remove them to have their picture taken for a license/i.d. then they need to go back to their own country.

I remember when my son and his wife, who is black, first became seriously involved.  A family member questioned me about her being black.  They asked if she had a college education (my son does not, btw), they asked if she talked “black” and then they asked if her parents were married and professionals.  I was appalled, and somewhat defensive.  I tried to argue how insulting this was.  The other person chuckled and then tried to change the subject.

The truth is “my people” are my children who are both anglo (from many countries), and hispanic, a husband who is hispanic, a dil who is black… as time rolls along I have no doubt my family will be more and more enriched with people from many cultures and I look forward to this blessing.  It’s time to embrace people and reject the ignorant fear of anyone different before we even get to know them as actual people with just as much to bring to the table as we do.  It’s always been time, we’re just slow learners.  I long for this for the future generations of my people.

1.  It’s not fair.  It’s necessary.  It’s not fair that only people with money or with almost no money or who know the right people get to go to college.  We are all Americans and if we want our country to progress we are going to have to level the playing field by giving people of color a hand up educationally in college since we most certainly don’t before that in our public school system.

I think it’s also important to note how uneven things are once everyone graduates from college:  

One possibility is that blacks are often paid less—about 10 percent on average—even when working the same occupation as whites. This is probably a combination of discrimination and differences in skills.

As for discrimination, experimental evidence shows that potential employers are less likely to initiate the hiring process with blacks even when their resumes are identical. On the skills side, blacks are significantly under-represented in top colleges: only five percent of students in the top decile of four-year colleges (ranked by alumni earnings) are black.    -Jonathan Rothwell in “Job Gap Closes, Income Gap Sticks:  Halting Progress Towards Race Equality”

2.  My grandpa came here from Ireland and worked for 6 or 7 years, as I recall, before he could afford to bring my grandmother over.  They had 6 children.  He worked very hard and I am proud of what he did for his family and the future generations of his family.  He was a very angry man and we’ve all reaped the benefits of that in our lives as well.  He died just before I was born. Near the time our country lost JFK.  My grandma was with us all of my growing up years.  She had a beautiful accent, a wonderful sense of humor and the warmth of a mackerel.  (I realize other grandchildren had a different relationship with her.  I can only speak of my own.)  Their children were (and still are) white.  They have no accents.  Some of them attended college and almost all of their children attended college if they desired it.  When my ancestors came here they came by choice.  They had some money and they were welcomed by either family or by loads of people in the same boat as them from their country of origin – and they had white skin, so they blended right in with the people in power.

3.  I am dreading this one.  So many facts.  So many opinions.  There is not one pat answer for this cop out.  Sin is sin.  Crime is wrong.  You can only oppress people for so long before things go awry.  This system is broken and the justification because of it is a freakin’ mess.  When do we go outside, meet our neighbors and see each other as people.  When do we trade in being part of the status quo for being a real, active part of the solution?!

4.  I think about locking my car door.  Their children have been shot for simply looking the way God made them to look.  Seriously, are we that insensitive?  We need to walk in their shoes.  I can only tell you from my years of teaching that we (white folks) have NO idea what it is to be a person of color, to be truly poor, to attend an inner city school that offers less than very little, and to be treated like you are evil incarnate most of your young life – especially if you are a boy.

I think I would be angry…

5.  Refer to #1 and then ask God what He calls on you to be and do.  I just can’t believe we all think that it’s okay to turn a blind eye to this HUGE ELEPHANT in the room.  These people are our family.  We are all His children and family is messy.  Nobody said this would be easy, but it is necessary.  We must embrace the beautiful, and even the irritating differences in all of the stunning ethnicities of our world and we need to start with the people who live in our own neighborhoods, and where we work and everywhere He places an opportunity for us to build a bridge.

6.  I just can’t…  In the whole scheme of things… Nope, I can’t…

This is a journey I’ve been on my whole life.  God placed this passion in me for all to feel loved and accepted unconditionally.  I’m sure I’ve written things that will offend people for different reasons out of my own ignorance and out of His conviction.  I welcome your loving input.  I want to grow and do better and I can’t do that alone.  It’s time for all of us to sit down across the table from our brothers and sisters and bridge the gap that exists because of our fear and ignorance.  It’s time to see each other through the eyes of love and understanding and to embrace one another’s differences and allow our lives to be enriched by these relationships.  We will inevitably be hurt and injured as we are in human relationships, and the enemy will be sure to build upon that, but we must get back up, dust ourselves off and carry on in love.  It is necessary…  Our children, our people are counting on us.