Tag: Love

the good stuff

the good stuff that rare moment when no one has anything pressing not an appointment to go to not an assignment due anytime soon not a work meeting not a repair that can’t wait when the weather is perfect not too chilly not too…

Here We Go, Again

My babies are moving out soon. Last year, in October, Hannah moved out, making our nest empty and I was ssstttrrruuugggggggggggllllliiiinnnggg for a minute.   Then just as I was deciding this was an okay gig and I began to enjoy my clean home, inviting…

Their Discomfort is Not Your Shame

  I have spent a decade recovering from my husband’s betrayal.  I often refer to that event as the beginning of great change in my entire family’s lives.  Betrayals in marriage make others uncomfortable.  Some of our closest family members have created distance between…

Buyer’s Remorse

That post yesterday?  Violated? Yeah.  I’m having some buyer’s remorse.  I think this might be similar to what one feels the morning after a one-night-stand or a drunken escapade… “What did I do?!” I considered deleting it because I keep thinking it makes people…

Thanksgiving Day Parade

I was young enough to sit up on his shoulders in the frigid outdoor celebration.  The sea of enthusiastic people was overwhelming to me from this point of view.  My relatives kept shouting at me to notice each of the HUGE characters floating by,…

Process

A (n unkind) gesture A package The scab is peeled off   The heartbreak Attempted stuffing The dam is open wide   The listening The comfort My heart begins to fill   Some memories Rich laughter The wound begins to heal More laughter More…

almost

sometimes the people that were supposed to love you endlessly without condition,  love you as best they can and hurt you deeply because they are only able to operate out of their brokenness and pride.  eventually this feels like they don’t really love you…

It’s All Relative…

  I’ve struggled for years with feeling shame for feeling pain at the lack of everything I received when I needed everything the most.  Compared to so many others my neglect was minimal.  The emotional abuse was a blip compared to the sexual and…

Family Secrets

Every family has them, right?  It’s just how things happen in this American culture, especially in the generation before mine, which I often call the “sweep it all under the rug” generation.

32

There is something holy about bringing a new life into this world.  The first encounter I had with Him was the moment just before I first met you on the outside. You were all beautiful, pink, squishy and seemingly perfect.  He was all love,…

My “Me”

  My “Me” without Parental influence, is on her feet, poised in a defensive stance born of too many betrayals by those she has loved deepest and hardest, prepared to defend her “self,”  yet once more, against the ugly and hurtful accusations of addiction…

Oh, that I could (a mama’s lament)

If I could go back  and do it all again -or maybe just parts of it… I would honor who He made you to be more than forcibly attempting to mold you into who I thought you should become. I would listen more with…

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